Dear Summer

Well Audrey is 3 months old now, she met her brother and sister.. they adore her, but they aren't sure why she doesn't "eat" and they don't understand that her milk is her food lol.
We took them to the park today, we went around 1, horrible time to go since it was so hott , I kept Audrey in the shade because she's so pale, but we finally got to use the stroller! Ethan and Kayley had a fun though..
I finally bought her a playmat, hopefully she'll start reaching up and grabbing things, she grabs her rags when I wave them right by her hands but she doesn't reach out for things yet. also she is trying so hard to roll over from her belly to back without the boppy help.
I got her some new bows today they were a 1$ at wal-mart so I couldn't pass up getting one in every color! thats a steal!!!shh don't tell daddy! haha

Audrey got her 2 month shots today, even though she'll be 3 months in a few days..?
she did so good! she only cried for about 5 minutes then she was fine, I cried of course.
Justin leaves tomorrow to get Ethan and Kayley, I'm excited for Audrey to meet them but I'm also sad that its no longer just gonna be and her, I love being able to devote all my time and attention to her and now I won't be able to, I'm kinda feeling guilty on both ends.
I'm also not looking forward to no alone time with Justin, it was hard last summer with them to get time for just us and now we have Audrey in our room.. and I think time for just me and him is vital to making our relationship work.
I guess we'll see how it goes.
Think Positive.

12 weeks

Today Audrey is 12 weeks old..not 3 months yet! 5 more days til that happens, I'm keeping her little as long as I can!
we did a mini shoot at 1 am this morning since she was wide awake !
I used to hate when she'd put her fingers in her mouth when I'd try to take her picture, but now Its just the cutest thing ever.

The best smell in the world is the man that you love

"It has stayed with me through most of my own relationships. When I fell in love and got married, I lived in constant fear of being left. Whatever you love most, you fear you might lose, you know it can change. Why do you look from left to right when you cross the street? Because you don't want to get run over. But, you still cross the street."

He's notjust the friend or the lover, but he's the missing piece to my puzzle.

I think I have a new idea for the wedding, I know we're putting pictures in the Mason jars of Justin and I.. but I really like this idea as well.. and I'm looking for unique cute pictures to hang up, not so much of people, but just cute love stuff.




I also think instead of a traditional guest book, having everyone write some marraige advice or congrats on a piece of paper and hang it up is cute too



and of course Im using Mason jars filled with Pictures of us, and some with coffee beans and some with candles as the centerpieces.

Today is my stepkids Birthday.
Ethan and Kayley are now 6 and 4.. yes they were born on the same day.
this is the first year since I've been with Justin that the kids haven't been with us for their birthday.
I remember meeting Kayley and Ethan, Kayley was 1 and Ethan 3.. I used to get up in the morning with Kayley and feed her, and let Justin sleep in. I'd open my eyes and she would be standing in her play pin just smiling at me, waiting for me to wake up.

I wanna slow life down, Audrey is already almost 3 months old!

I'm reading a book by Lee Child called Worth Dying For .
I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I was desperate for something to read and they didn't have anymore Karin Slaughter books, which is what I've been reading.

I'm not sure this post has a purpose other than to say Happy Birthday to the kids.

one week down one to go

I know that I was so excited for Justin to be on the 14 on 14 off schedule..
but now that I'm going through it, I hate it.
I guess because we did it before we just expected to love it again.
but before I was living in our hometown, had school and all my friends and family to keep me busy, I could go do things and the time passed rather quickly.
but now I'm 5 hrs away from friends and I'm busy taking care of Audrey...
and I think having Audrey is a big reason I miss him so much, I want him to be here for her, to see all her smiles and hear her coos .
he'd been one the 7 on 7 off schedule for over a year and I got used to it.
I mean I missed him, but I knew in a few days I'd see him. now I still have another week to get through until he's home.

I guess its the sacrifice we make for having a good life, for being able to stay at home with Audrey.
I've been trying to keep myself busy doing housework, re organizing the living room, going through pictures and papers.. doing random bits of laundry.
thank god for my message boards where I can talk to other adults, or I'd probably be talking baby gibberish when Justin gets home.

I keep having dreams that I've gone back to work.. its so weird, I also had a dream I was in a big training class for the navy with a bunch of people from my highschool. I thought the weird dreams stopped after pregnancy?
I've really got to do something productive the net few days.
I'm gonna clean up the bedroom, dust, go through some of Audreys clothes.. I've got to get her some more 3-6 month outfits she's about to be too big for the 0-3 months. I really need to get her a bow organizer because somehow I've already lost one of her bows, the red one I bought for her 4th of july outfit.
I also need to get a power cord for our printer so I can pring off some activities for Ethan and Kayley, I'm gonna try and set a schedule for them too. up at 8 or 9 whenever Audrey gets up the second time around and in bed by 9 when Audrey goes to bed.. I've told Justin that he HAS to help me on this, and he can not let them stay up all night and sleep all day, and that they CAN NOT sleep in our bed because that can't happen when he's at work and its just me, I have to sleep when Audrey does so I can't be up all night with them and then stay up when Audrey gets up.. I'll go insane with sleep deprivation.
I'm very nervous about them coming, I'm so excited to see them and I know so is Justin and I can't wait for them to meet Audrey