mother of a toddler now!

Audrey turned 1 Feb 28th. It does NOT seem like she should be a toddler, that she should be walking and starting to try to talk. The past year went by at warped speed it seems like. Her birthday was bittersweet, I was happy to celebrate her birth, the amazing little person she is, but I was sad that she was growing up. I never understood why mothers were sad about their kids birthdays, but I totally get it now. I want her to stay my little baby forever. We had her birthday at Justin's aunts house, not many people came, which kinda sucked, but oh well. She got a lot of toys and clothes, she has so many toys now she needs another toy box! My mom got her a play kitchen, she loves it, and it grows as she gets bigger, we got her a push car and a Dora chair, she loves it and sits in like she's a big girl watching cartoons. Her hair is so long now I can pull it back in a little pony tail. She has grown and changed so much in a year, this time last year she was this tiny little helpless baby and now she's more in charge than I am sometimes! haha! She is a walking mess maker, she leaves a trail of destruction everywhere she goes! She has changed my life in so many ways, I used to be a pretty selfish person, but when you're a mother you would walk to the moon and back for your child, at least I would. I'm so lucky to have this little goofy girl as my daughter. I love her so much! The fun things start now, everyday is something new with her, she recently started giving kisses, I never knew my heart could melt so fast! It is the sweetest thing ever! I made it through the infant stage, I sometimes didn't know if I would make it through the day, it was hard doing it on my own most of the time, but I did it, and now I get to see her explore and grow in new ways, like talking and playing. I'm sad to see my little baby grow but I'm excited for this new stage of life, being the mother of a toddler. But no matter what she will ALWAYS be my baby, even when she's 40.

The only way out is through

I Love this Tat. I've been wanting to get these lyrics (by Alanis Morissette) for awhile, and I think I want them just like this... but on my wrist so I can see them, it's going to be my reward to myself when I reach my goal, to remind me that I can come through anything, that I am strong. Love it. Workouts are kicking my butt, my legs are super sore, but I lost another pound! And even though my husband has already eaten out twice since he's been home I have resisted and stuck to my plan.

10lbs down

I've lost 10 lbs so far! which is pretty good for less than two weeks!
the first few days were rough, I was still so hungry between meals, I was literally watching the clock until I could eat again.
now Its no big deal.
I wasn't able to drink the green tea, I guess I just dislike all tea, so its been just water for me!
I'm excited to start Phase 1 on Tuesday, I can have a regular breakfast like fiber cereal or oatmeal instead of the shake, and I can have fruit with my meals or as a snack. I'm nervous about the workouts, I've heard they are pretty hard and since my workout level and experience is at like a -10 this is probably going to kick my ass.
Also I know there are a few positions and exercises I won't be able to do because I can't fully extend my left arm or put a lot of weight on it because my elbow never healed right.
But I'm going to give it my all!
I already feel like I have more energy, I started going for walks at the park with Audrey, I'm hoping it warms up soon so I can go everyday.

Day 5

I'm on day 5 of my Reset part of the P.I.N.K. Method
I don't have much energy the last two days, I guess its my body adjusting to the diet change but so far I've lost 6 lbs!
I slacked yesterday and had bread with my turkey burger patty, which is probably why I didn't lose any, still weigh the same as yesterday.
I haven't hadn't anything to drink other than water since starting this, which is HUGE for me, I stopped drinking caffeine when I was pregnant but I drank a lot of juice.
I can't wait to be done with the reset part and start the workouts .
I'm determined to do this.
My first goal weight is 170 and then 150.
I've never been a "small" girl, ever, even when I was a kid I had big bones and big hips so I'm not going to set an unrealistic goal of getting down to a size 6.
I want to be in shape and healthy and feel confident about the way I look, I don't care if society will still label me as "fat". I'm doing this for ME, no one else. okay well I'm doing it also for Audrey, I want to be healthy so I'm around a LONG LONG time for her.

Reset Day 1

SO I started the P.I.N.K Method today.
I had a protein shake this morning, included whey protein, strawberries and almond milk. For lunch had a bowl of lettuce with tuna and tomato with a small serving of non fat ranch, and a glass of water.
This is going to be a lifestyle change for me, and its going to be hard!
I HATE water, I had to force myself to drink it during my pregnancy, and I know I never drank enough, I'm going to attempt to drink Green Tea, so we'll see! No cokes, no coffee, no juice.. that part kind of sucks, but Oh well, I'll have to get used to it!
I don't start the workouts until I'm done with the "Reset" part which , for me, will last 2 weeks.
I'm already hungry but that's because I'm used to eating large portions and snacking whenever I want, one of the downfalls of being a SAHM,you have access to the kitchen all day, everyday.
I can have a snack of veggies or yogurt, but I'm going to wait another hr, so it gets me through until dinner, which will be 4 oz of fish and a small salad with tomato.

2012

So I'm 8 days late, but oh well!
2011 was an AMAZING year, I had Audrey, I became a SAHM, I got Married.. it was the best year of my life.
This time last year, time dragged on as I waited for my due date, I couldn't wait to meet the little baby girl in my tummy.. and now that sweet baby is going to be 1 soon! I can't believe it! She has such a little personality, she is goofy and such a happy girl. She loves to play with her toys, and is always trying to get into something.
I feel so blessed to be her mother, the best job of my life.
I also FINALLY married my soul mate, even though sometimes in our relationship I thought he'd never make me an honest woman haha! Not much has really changed in our relationship since becoming Husband and Wife, except that my name has changed and we have more rights.
All in all 2011 was awesome.

For 2012 I have one plan.
Lose weight! I know a lot of people make this their resolution, and I've said it before but this year its serious.
I want to be healthy, I want to be able to run and play with Audrey, I want to have energy and not feel sick and tired all the time. I want to feel attractive when I get dressed up.
I've ordered the P.I.N.K Method, and I've started counting calories.. my goal is 100lbs off by June 2013.

Every choice gets you here

Monday it will be two years since we moved to Texas, and I've been thinking lately about how so many choices have put me on the path to the life I live today.
My ex asked me to stay in my hometown and go to school instead of going to the college 2 hrs away, I made the choice to stay, and when that relationship ended I had a crazy summer, and I met Justin:) I made the choice to do another year at the community college even though I'd been accepted into the University . I know most people will think that's stupid, and it probably is, but every choice leads you to another path.
That choice led me to another, staying in Poteau or picking up and moving 5 hrs away from everyone I know and love . I took a leap of faith because I knew Justin was my future, and even though I didn't know where things would go, I knew as long as I was with him, life would be good. So here we are, two years later and we are happily married, about to have our 4th Christmas together and this year we have our beautiful baby girl, so looking at my life, I may not be doing what I wanted to do when I was 18, but I also never imagined myself as a mother either, and its the best thing in the entire world. I'm sure people who I went to school with think I'm a failure, or a drop out, but I love my life as a mother and wife, and I think I made the right choices.