10 weeks

well in an hour and half I'll be 10 weeks!
almost through with my first trimester!!
Called the medicaid lady today, she still doesn't have my paperwork, said to call her again on monday..ugh.
I've finished all the girl names in the baby name book, I highlighted ones i liked , but i've still got Audrei as my absolute favorite. I don't know why Justin is being a pain about it.

Yesterday I had such severe Stomach pains after laying in bed all day and it still not going away I had Justin take me to ER. after being poked and proded, and IV and fluids in me, and Ultra sound an being there for 6 hours they tell me I'm dehydrated and I have cysts on my ovaries AND I have an ulcer.
They did see that my baby was okay and I'm not as far along as they guessed from my last period. I'm just now 9 weeks today so my due date is about 5 days farther than we originally thought.
A nurse did come back and filled out all my medicaid paperwork and gave me name and number for my caseworker . said to give her a call in a couple days.

just.. UGH!!!

so I called today to the clinic , they transfered me to Ft.worth, said I had to bring all my papers there.. Justin didn't wanna drive all the way into downtown ft.worth so I called again and after explaining to the lady 3 times that I'm not in her system, I'm pregnant thats why i'm trying to get in the program she tells me " oh well we don't do that.. you'll have to do medicaid or something, we only take patients already in our system" are you freaking kidding me?!!! after I've already filled out all this paper work, why would they send me more forms if I can't even be admitted in the program... and I'm pissed because the only reason I even did this program was because the health dept said to!
ugh!! and I have NO idea how or where to go about doing medicaid.. not like I even have the freakin time since today was my ONLY day off this week, and then Justin will back at work and I'll have to wait til he's home again and by then I'll be 11 weeks..

needless to say, I was very emotional today,
and the ironic thing is, if I would still be living in oklahoma I was already on Soonercare and I wouldn't be having this problem...

:( ugh!

hopefully

Justin is home! finally. I was suppose to only work 6-cl but of course I got called in early and had to be at work at one which is exactly when he got home, needless to say I was not in the best mood today. especially after I was taking a shower and had some pretty bad pains in my stomach, so much i had to just sit in the shower. it didn't last too long, but it should scared me. There wasn't any blood, so i'm not extrememly worried.
Tomorrow, well since its 2 am. more like Today is my day off so I'm going to just drive over and turn in all my paperwork for the JPS network and hopefully If I ask to see someone that day I can maybe, just maybe get in to see a doctor. I hope so, I work the rest of the week and then Justin will be back at work and I won't have a vehicle.
Only thing I'm sad about is that if I do get to see the doctor and maybe hear the heartbeat Justin won't be there, since it would trouble to bring the kids along. I'll probably be waiting awhile and i'm sure they'd get restless.

I'm thinking of buying a Home Heart Doppler though, then I could hear my lil Cupcakes heartbeat anytime I want :)

Okay I should get back to bed

Roughneck baby stuff

freaking myself out

since Im STILL waiting to get approved for insurance, I can't go to the dr. I'm SOO worried that the baby doesn't have a heartbeat or theres something wrong. I mean all the other ladies on my boards have already heard their babies heartbeat, and a few have dropped the board because there wasn't one:(
I feel like such a horrible person .

horrible start

So I wake up today and my water is off... i work 10 hours a day so i'm never home when the apt office is open. so i left the money for the water bill in the Rent drop box , this was like 4 days ago.. apparently they haven't checked it because its off today... and I walk down there and of course they're at lunch and I need to take a shower to go to work at 3. ugh... then I stress out because I have no ride to work, I can't get ahold of Justins grandma, grandpa, or dad. luckily Justins aunt said she'll take me.. I AM SOOO tired of not having my own vehicle.
and after I pay the utilities, I pretty much have NO money left, so I can't go just buy a car.

Ugh :( I hate today.

and I finally hear from Justin today, for a whole two minutes, he said he'd call back when he woke up, but i'll be at work:(
I'm ready for this week to be over!

look to the future

apparently Justin is on a location that gets no service, and the nearest town is an hr away. so I haven't heard from him since he left monday night.
I miss him, and I wish I could at least get a text from him.
It makes me think about the future, when the babys here and there will be times when he's gone for work and I won't hear from him, and it'll just be me and the baby with no support from him.

Just part of being a roughnecks girl i guess

Ah quiet

I had a stressful week, Seemed like everything Justin or the kids did drove me completely nuts, little noises made me wanna scream.
I feel awful now for being such a Bitch while Justin was home, but I just felt sooo sick the whole time and the kids seemed EXTRA loud.
Anyway they left last night so now its just me in the house.
which by the way is a complete disaster. ugh. i'll clean it, but not tonight lol.
I actually had a good day today, wasn't sick and kept solid food down, all day! I even ate more than once! yay! In fact I craved Pickles so bad at work I got extra pickles on my sandwhich from subway at lunch!
Now that Justins not here I miss him:(
He had to work days today and im sure he went straight to sleep, since he didn't get much sleep.

I really wanted some mexican white cheese today with nachos, too bad I can't have any! Most people will say its fine, but I'm not risking anything!

Also this waiting for medicaid crap is annoying, I'm ready to hear my babys heartbeat!

okay I'm going to curl up on the couch and watch some tv and eat some popcorn:)

Goodnight!

oh one last thing, a shout out to Polka Dottie! thanks for awarding me in your blog!

rough day

I've been so sick since yesterday. throwing up everything I eat, my whole stomach hurts, my back hurts. I feel just awful. and Im working 10 hr days, while puking at work.

Im exhausted.

I'm ready for this to be over already

Made the announcement!

So today I got tired of waiting to be able to tell, SO I made the announcement on FB and Myspace. !
I also had a rough day, I broke down when I was told I couldn't even make the dr. appt until I had medicaid. ugh!
I've been so tired all day too, good thing I had today off.
I've started to get the "having to pee all the time" Symptom. :(

I also had a horrible dream last night, that I had a miscarraige at work.

I'm not liking the mood swing part of this whole pregnancy, I feel like a wreck

Hurt

So about a year and half ago, I got into with a good friend of mine, she had an opinion of Justin , based on our first ever fight, which she just happen to witness, we were both intoxicated at the time too. anyway I knew she didn't really like him too much, but hey she was still my friend, and she has always been a very opinionated person, but it got to the point where she was posting rude comments about him and our relationship on my Facebook, so I deleted her. I always thought it would blow over and we'd be friends again i mean friends fight right? no. a year and half later she still thinks Justin treats me bad and I'm just some push over or something idk.
anyway, we were friends for a long time so I wanted her to know I was pregnant, speaking or not she was a good friend to me through highschool,and after. I gave permission to one of my other friends to tell, since I had no way to contact her.
She replied with " I feel sorry for that Kid" ... when asked why she thought that,
"because Justin treats her bad and she's not good to Ethan and Kayley , so she won't be a good mom"
Wow that hurt, to have someone I once considered a good friend say I won't be a good mom and that I don't treat Ethan and kayley good, that hurt.
after the shock hit, I got Angry. !
I mean she hasn't talked to me in a year and half, she lives in Con. and she's never even MET Ethan and kayley. How can she say I don't treat them good??!!
If I didn't treat them good, Justin wouldn't be with me, His kids come first.
How dare she say stuff about me!

Okay that was my rant for tonight.
Any thought of still wanting to be this girls friend is COMPLETELY GONE.

cute!

so since Justin didn't come home today, Ive had a long boring day at home, feeling sick and laying on the couch.
soo I've started my baby registry at babys r us and wal-mart.
I did the chinese birth chart last night and it says I'll have a girl:) but i'm not putting stock in it, I sure hope so though!
I've also been looking at baby bows and tutus(just in case!) and I've found this great site and they're pretty cheap, cheapest I've found actually.

http://www.princessbowtique.net/

Being a photographer, I see cute bows and headbands all the time at work, so of course I want some for mine!


Ugh and I am SOO ready to announce that I'm pregnant!
Hopefully Justin tells his ex tomorrow so I can announce and Facebook and myspace

pregnancy test

Just wanted to post a picture of the pregnancy test that changed our lives.
Took it on 9 days late.

I'm so exhausted, and SOO emotional. If anything touching or sad comes on tv, I cry.
My heart rate is up, i'll be laying completely still and it feels like my heart is gonna pound out of my chest, and I'm getting short of breath easy, like a brisk walk from the bedroom to the bathroom.
I'm having some twinges of pain that come and go in my stomach.
I'm mostly just ready for Justin to be home. I'm glad I have tomorrow and monday off. Hopefully I can rest up some more.

starting the name game

So even though I have a long way to go, I'm gonna start going through names, because I know getting Justin to agree to one will be some work

Boys
A
Asher
Avery

Girls
Alannah
Annette
Auralee
Ava
Astrid
Audree
Avery

B Boy
Bently
Brennon

Girls
Bianca
Bridgette
Bonnie

C Boy
Chandler
Charlie
Colton
Collin

Girl
Chloe
Claribel


Thats all for now.

So I'm really craving Breakfast food, and since I have no grocceries, I ordered Dennys:)

My mom has apparently told my grandpa , actually he thought I was on drugs so she had to correct him and tell him i'm really Just pregnant. I was afriad of telling him, and of course he's not too happy. He's 88 so He obviously thinks I need to be married, and I'm too young..
Now I'm scared to call him. He's the only father figure I have left in my life so I really want him to be happy for me.
:(

no time to rest

after an 8 am meeting , I was hoping to get a long nap in before I had to be back at work at 4. But now I have to go in at 11 and work til close . a 10 hr day and I'm already tired. I feel tired all the time, I took two naps a day my last two days off and went to bed at 11.
I work 10 am til the last apt tomorrow..
Luckily I'll be off sunday and monday.

Oh and lovely morning Sickness decided to grace me with its presence today.. work while I wanna puke.. its gonna be a great day.

nursery ideas

So since both Ethan and Kayley will be sharing the babys room on weekends when they're here I think a Gender nuetral theme would be good.
I found a Peter Rabbit Idea, and I thinnk its sooo cute!

I love yellow anyway:) so that will be a main color in whatever I chose.

raging hormones

I'm not normally an emotional basketcase, but today I am. thank you hormones.. Our rent is due today, I'm having to pay 300 out of my check because they messed Justins check up and it was short , I go to deposit it and get a money order and they won't do it until my check clears, which in the past can take anywhere from 1-4 days. great, oh and I have absolutely no food, none whatsoever. nothing to drink, not even any soup or sandwhich meat, I was counting on my check to be able to get some grocceries. wonderful, great way to start a pregnancy, by not eating.. of course I've been bawling this entire time and I called my mom and was a complete wreck on the phone.
Ugh, I hope i'm not a complete hormonal basketcase this whole pregnancy..

Surprise!

June 28th was the morning I found out, even though I'd had the feeling for a few days. Justin didn't wanna believe it, but there were two lines on that test. I cried, I was scared and shocked, I never planned to be a mom right now, or anytime soon . Justin kept waiting for me to say I'd gotten my period, but no such luck. He's gotten excited now,and I'm starting to get that way. I couldn't help but tell my close friends, who all just had babies, and of course i had to tell my mom.
I
I'm waiting to announce it to everyone untill Justin has told his ex, we don't want her to find out on myspace.. But I can't wait to Share the news with the world!