Dear Summer

Well Audrey is 3 months old now, she met her brother and sister.. they adore her, but they aren't sure why she doesn't "eat" and they don't understand that her milk is her food lol.
We took them to the park today, we went around 1, horrible time to go since it was so hott , I kept Audrey in the shade because she's so pale, but we finally got to use the stroller! Ethan and Kayley had a fun though..
I finally bought her a playmat, hopefully she'll start reaching up and grabbing things, she grabs her rags when I wave them right by her hands but she doesn't reach out for things yet. also she is trying so hard to roll over from her belly to back without the boppy help.
I got her some new bows today they were a 1$ at wal-mart so I couldn't pass up getting one in every color! thats a steal!!!shh don't tell daddy! haha

Audrey got her 2 month shots today, even though she'll be 3 months in a few days..?
she did so good! she only cried for about 5 minutes then she was fine, I cried of course.
Justin leaves tomorrow to get Ethan and Kayley, I'm excited for Audrey to meet them but I'm also sad that its no longer just gonna be and her, I love being able to devote all my time and attention to her and now I won't be able to, I'm kinda feeling guilty on both ends.
I'm also not looking forward to no alone time with Justin, it was hard last summer with them to get time for just us and now we have Audrey in our room.. and I think time for just me and him is vital to making our relationship work.
I guess we'll see how it goes.
Think Positive.

12 weeks

Today Audrey is 12 weeks old..not 3 months yet! 5 more days til that happens, I'm keeping her little as long as I can!
we did a mini shoot at 1 am this morning since she was wide awake !
I used to hate when she'd put her fingers in her mouth when I'd try to take her picture, but now Its just the cutest thing ever.

The best smell in the world is the man that you love

"It has stayed with me through most of my own relationships. When I fell in love and got married, I lived in constant fear of being left. Whatever you love most, you fear you might lose, you know it can change. Why do you look from left to right when you cross the street? Because you don't want to get run over. But, you still cross the street."

He's notjust the friend or the lover, but he's the missing piece to my puzzle.

I think I have a new idea for the wedding, I know we're putting pictures in the Mason jars of Justin and I.. but I really like this idea as well.. and I'm looking for unique cute pictures to hang up, not so much of people, but just cute love stuff.




I also think instead of a traditional guest book, having everyone write some marraige advice or congrats on a piece of paper and hang it up is cute too



and of course Im using Mason jars filled with Pictures of us, and some with coffee beans and some with candles as the centerpieces.

Today is my stepkids Birthday.
Ethan and Kayley are now 6 and 4.. yes they were born on the same day.
this is the first year since I've been with Justin that the kids haven't been with us for their birthday.
I remember meeting Kayley and Ethan, Kayley was 1 and Ethan 3.. I used to get up in the morning with Kayley and feed her, and let Justin sleep in. I'd open my eyes and she would be standing in her play pin just smiling at me, waiting for me to wake up.

I wanna slow life down, Audrey is already almost 3 months old!

I'm reading a book by Lee Child called Worth Dying For .
I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I was desperate for something to read and they didn't have anymore Karin Slaughter books, which is what I've been reading.

I'm not sure this post has a purpose other than to say Happy Birthday to the kids.

one week down one to go

I know that I was so excited for Justin to be on the 14 on 14 off schedule..
but now that I'm going through it, I hate it.
I guess because we did it before we just expected to love it again.
but before I was living in our hometown, had school and all my friends and family to keep me busy, I could go do things and the time passed rather quickly.
but now I'm 5 hrs away from friends and I'm busy taking care of Audrey...
and I think having Audrey is a big reason I miss him so much, I want him to be here for her, to see all her smiles and hear her coos .
he'd been one the 7 on 7 off schedule for over a year and I got used to it.
I mean I missed him, but I knew in a few days I'd see him. now I still have another week to get through until he's home.

I guess its the sacrifice we make for having a good life, for being able to stay at home with Audrey.
I've been trying to keep myself busy doing housework, re organizing the living room, going through pictures and papers.. doing random bits of laundry.
thank god for my message boards where I can talk to other adults, or I'd probably be talking baby gibberish when Justin gets home.

I keep having dreams that I've gone back to work.. its so weird, I also had a dream I was in a big training class for the navy with a bunch of people from my highschool. I thought the weird dreams stopped after pregnancy?
I've really got to do something productive the net few days.
I'm gonna clean up the bedroom, dust, go through some of Audreys clothes.. I've got to get her some more 3-6 month outfits she's about to be too big for the 0-3 months. I really need to get her a bow organizer because somehow I've already lost one of her bows, the red one I bought for her 4th of july outfit.
I also need to get a power cord for our printer so I can pring off some activities for Ethan and Kayley, I'm gonna try and set a schedule for them too. up at 8 or 9 whenever Audrey gets up the second time around and in bed by 9 when Audrey goes to bed.. I've told Justin that he HAS to help me on this, and he can not let them stay up all night and sleep all day, and that they CAN NOT sleep in our bed because that can't happen when he's at work and its just me, I have to sleep when Audrey does so I can't be up all night with them and then stay up when Audrey gets up.. I'll go insane with sleep deprivation.
I'm very nervous about them coming, I'm so excited to see them and I know so is Justin and I can't wait for them to meet Audrey

My all time favorite band has FINALLY come out with a new album.
Cold's Superfiction is due out in July.
they released their first single and I love it!
Wicked World.
I absolutely love love love this band, I don't think they've ever made a song I didn't like.
my favorite is Cure My Tragedy, I've always been able to relate to their music, and they don't have to scream or cuss to make it good.

<3 check em out

Audrey

Newest pictures of Audrey

Happy Birthday Carter

Tomorrow is one of my best friends sons 1st birthday Carter Brooks.
I am so lucky to have a friend like Melissa, we've been friends since we were in the 1st grade, I've only seen her cry once in all the years I've known her.
when she told me she was pregnant, on my 21st birthday, I was so shocked, she was the absolute LAST person I thought would get pregnant . I have always looked at her as a sister, someone I needed to look out for, I viewed her as sheltered, pure and innocent, I know thats weird to call someone pure, but thats how I always saw her, like she was the better person, she never drank or partied hard, like I did.. she did good in school, got a scholarship, had a curfew, had a job at a law office..
anyway so 9 months passed and she went into labor, sadly I had moved to texas and couldn't be there.. Carter was born disabled, at that point I don't think I would've had the strength Melissa did, a perfect healthy normal pregnancy and BAM .. something totally unexpected happens.
Carter is probably the most precious little boy I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I know that Melissa is the most perfect mom for him.
He was the first and ONLY baby , my daughter Audrey has ever smiled at.
I am more proud of Melissa than I have ever been of anyone, for her strength, her love, her patience.
I love it when she calls and Carter talks to me on the phone, it brightens my day.

Happy Birthday Carter B
Love you sooo much!!
-Aunt Mantha

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day!
Audreys gift to me was sleeping for 7 hrs, so that was nice!
I'm so blessed to be a mother, and to be Audreys mother.
she is the most beautiful little girl in the whole world, and so joyful, always smiling and playin.
You really don't know how much you can really love until you have a child.
she's already growing too fast for me!
She's the center of my world, my reason for exsisting.
I love that little girl more than life itself.

I just wrote a long post and it told me to hit the back button and now its all gone... effff
in summary, we set the wedding date September 17, 2011

It is 2 am.
and I have nothing to complain about, always in my life I've had some obstacle to overcome,something looming over my happiness... not now, for the first time I am stress free, happy, content with where I am in life, Sure I'd like to be getting a bigger place, and I'd like to have my own car but I get to be a stay at home mom and spend every moment with Audrey and I'm complete provided for. Am I spoiled? maybe but I'm not like everyone probably thinks I am.
I'm sure other Roughneck wives have complete access to their husbands money, they go on shopping sprees, they buy themselves things , everyone sees a stay at home mom, especially one that has a husband in the oil field as gold diggers, spoiled or lazy.
thats NOT me. while yes I have access to Justins money, I only use it for food or diapers, things for Audrey and I've never used it without telling him first and after telling him exactly how much I've spent, he doesn't make me do this, but its his money, money he makes sacrificing by being away from his family, he busts his ass on there on the rig, 12 hr days doing hard labor in wind , rain, burning heat and freezing snow.
I never take for granted what I have.
Do I miss having my own money? yes
Do I miss being able to go buy myself new clothes and things? yes
would I trade it for what I have now? no way
being able to be home with Audrey is completely and totally worth it all.
I love cooking my husband dinners and taking care of my daughter.
this is a 180 of where I pictured myself a 3 years ago, even a year ago, but life takes you where you're suppose to be.
and being with Justin and Audrey is the best place in the world for me.

Ccchhh changes

well Justin will be starting on a new rig, he goes to a 4 day training class this week and then probably will head out to his new rig right after, its with a new comapny called Rowan, and its a great company to work for, they have offshore rigs which is eventually what he wants to do.
I'm not looking forward to him being gone for three weeks, but I will like him being back on a two week on, two off schedule again, I like having him home longer.

I got my wedding dress! I almost bought a different one, a short one, then I saw this one in the magazine and had to try it on, my consultant was probably annoyed but oh well it was a bigger commission for him! haha. Its nothing like I pictured myself in at all, but I put it on and KNEW, it was my dress, I felt like a bride, I could see myself walking towards Justin.
We're having the wedding at Justins aunts house , we'll do the ceramony in front of the fireplace using her furniture and random chairs for seating and then have the reception outside, she has a big yard that has a fountain and rose bushes.
our wedding cake is gonna be a Rig cake, something a little unique.
I wanted to do a Brooch bouqet but its just too expensive , and I don't have the time to try and find broochs in order to make my own.
I'm gonna decorate the fireplace with big candles and letters spelling LOVE
for the reception I'm using mason jars for centerpieces.
okay well gotta get Audrey back to bed, and wake Justin up! I have to finish his rig laundry before he leaves!