Saturday, December 17, 2011

Every choice gets you here

Monday it will be two years since we moved to Texas, and I've been thinking lately about how so many choices have put me on the path to the life I live today.
My ex asked me to stay in my hometown and go to school instead of going to the college 2 hrs away, I made the choice to stay, and when that relationship ended I had a crazy summer, and I met Justin:) I made the choice to do another year at the community college even though I'd been accepted into the University . I know most people will think that's stupid, and it probably is, but every choice leads you to another path.
That choice led me to another, staying in Poteau or picking up and moving 5 hrs away from everyone I know and love . I took a leap of faith because I knew Justin was my future, and even though I didn't know where things would go, I knew as long as I was with him, life would be good. So here we are, two years later and we are happily married, about to have our 4th Christmas together and this year we have our beautiful baby girl, so looking at my life, I may not be doing what I wanted to do when I was 18, but I also never imagined myself as a mother either, and its the best thing in the entire world. I'm sure people who I went to school with think I'm a failure, or a drop out, but I love my life as a mother and wife, and I think I made the right choices.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so this is going to be a post about everything I'm so thankful for.
1. Audrey- This bright bundle of joy has changed my life more than I can even put into words, her smile and laugh is my reason for breathing. She is such an amazing little girl, she's healthy and happy and she is more than I could have ever asked for. Everyday I get to see her play and toddle around is a blessing.
2. Justin- This man puts up with my crazy ideas, my frustrations, my whacky emotions, and he still makes me laugh and smile and I can't believe how lucky I am to be his wife.
3. My Mom- She has been my rock, she dealt with my pregnancy hormones and worries, then dealt with the constant phone calls about the wedding, sometimes 10 times a day and did everything she could to give me the wedding I wanted. I can't go a day without talking to her, she listens to me complain when I've had a bad day or I'm dealing with a cranky baby and I'm on the verge of tears, and always encourages me.
4. The Oil Field- I have a love/hate relationship with the oil field, I love that my husband has a job when so many people don't and I love that he gets two weeks straight off even though I hate that he has to miss holidays and be away from his family for two weeks working 12 hrs in the sleet, snow, rain, blistering heat. But I have to be thankful for the job that provides for our family.

It has been a whirlwind year, and I can't believe it's almost over, I had a baby , became a stay at home mom and got married. I'm really blessed with the life I have.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Coming home

Justin comes home today, after a long two weeks at the rig.
I'm so ready for some time with my husband, I get so lonely with just Audrey to talk to, and she doesn't talk back, so its a one sided conversation.
I've got a couple new ideas for some posts, but I think for today I'm gonna enjoy having my man home:)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Occupy?

I was watching a quick news break about the Occupy Wall street , and I wondered... how are all these people being able to sit out in tents or hang out day and night ? do they not have jobs? if so, that sucks, I understand times are really tough, but why are they now making things so hard that now other people are getting layed off, because these Occupy people have parked themselves outside a business? are they gonna pay for those peoples families?
21 layed off
what do you think

why should everyone have a handout?
why should someone who doesn't have the strive or talent, or ability to do something be given the same things as someone who busts their ass working hard.?

you want to shut wall street down when a couple months ago we were on the verge of a total government shutdown... Wall street is the core of our economy..
I also see these people doing a Hunger Strike.. guess what, who is that affecting? you think anyone else is thinking.. " oh man I better change the entire way our country is ran, completely give all these people all MY money so this random person will eat" no, no one is thinking that.. you're going hungry and no one but you is affected.
you want a single payer insurance? who made you God?
Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment. so.. why should any of us get jobs? if we're just gonna be paid.. you still want your hamburgers, still want police protection? still want clothes made for you? ... seriously?

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand this is a joke.. like I've said before we will ALWAYS need oil.. and there will ALWAYS be drilling, better to have jobs here than send all our rigs overseas..
Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now
Hi? have you heard.. WE ARE DEBT!!!!! where the hell are we gonna pull a Trillion dollars from?

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the “Books.” World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the “Books.” And I don’t mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period. great , so give back your houses, your cars, everything you bought with credit cards, and you tell the other countries we owe that we won't be paying.... oh and next time you lend someone money don't expect it back, cuz we don't do loans, or debt remember? seriously?
Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies. OKay, I have bad credit.. but I also understand why we need them.. because guess what? if a car dealership or a bank(oh wait do we still have banks or are we paying with rocks and fruit?) can't tell who pays on time, or who has a record of getting something and running away from the payments why the HELL would they sell us a car or house? are you FREAKING kidding me?

I understand that some things in our country need to change, obviously we are doing some things right.. but most of these "protesters" don't even know what the hell they're protesting! its a Fad, a thing to do, jump on the band wagon..

I know not everyone agrees with me, or has the same political view as me, awesome!!! that is what is great about our country, we all can have different views!
I'm not gonna claim to be an expert on all this, or even be all that informed, but I wanted to say my 2cents.

.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Dear Moms:Flavor of the month

I guess I should blame Facebook for my reasons for some many rantings, but oh well.
I feel sorry for all these kids who have moms who are constantly changing boyfriends, who go from being engaged to one man to being" in love" with another 2 weeks after the first one dumps her, now I understand single moms need love too, but if you are gonna date numerous men at least don't bring them around your child.. thats got to be SOOO confusing.
You know what you're showing them? that love is not a real commitment, that its something EASY.. Love is not easy, your're also showing them that if one doesn't do it for ya, then on to the next.
Kids need stability, they need one home and parents who are a constant in their lives, parading one man after another in and out of their lives is not healthy.
Am I saying you shouldn't find happiness because you have a kid? no, not at all.
but maybe you should date APART from your child, and see if the guy is really gonna be the one.
And it really isn't healthy if you are constantly moving in with all these boyfriends, dragging your child along and then having to rip them from that new home when it doesn't work.
Dating isn't easy and the "rules" aren't the same when you're a mother.

I thought about REALLY putting my thoughts, my not so nice words, but I figure this way was more constructive:)

Friday, November 4, 2011

Awareness: ALS

I've been reading a lot of blogs about awareness, for different things like Down Syndrome Kennedy's mom
and for Breast Cancer .
I have some things that have affected me and I wanted to post some things on them.
My grandmother had ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. She fought it for about 12 years, I never heard her voice or saw her walk,but she was one feisty woman! ALS is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord.
There is no "cure" for ALS, although more people are living longer with it because of new studies . It takes away your ability to speak, walk, swallow and eventually to breathe on your own.
Approximately 5,600 people in the U.S. are diagnosed with ALS each year. The incidence of ALS is two per 100,000 people, and it is estimated that as many as 30,000 Americans may have the disease at any given time.
ALS affects every race, every country, and both sexes and in some cases is heredity.

"Two independent studies, both funded by The ALS Association, have found a genetic abnormality that, according to researchers, is the most common cause of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) and frontotemporal dementia (FTD). As reported in the recent online issue of the scientific journal Neuron, an unusual mutation was discovered, where a short DNA sequence is repeated many more times as compared to healthy individuals."


als.org

check out what you can do!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Oil: do we need it?

I'm tired of hearing about how "bad" the big oil companies are, and how the oil workers are so awful, and all these stupid protesters want to stop drilling..
I'm also tired of people thinking that if we all drive electric cars we won't have to drill anymore..
do YOU know what oil makes?
Products from Petroleum
a fellow Roughneck wife posted a picture of her holding a sign and its SOOO true, the ink that protesters use to make their signs, comes from oil!
Okay we all drive electric cars.. the cars still need tires.. gotta have oil to make tires!
9 shocking things made from oil
can you live without these?

I think my husband deserves a THANK YOU for providing you with all this, he's away from me so he can drill this out of the ground and they can turn it into products for YOU
So remember next time you put on some makeup, write a note, burn a sweet smelling candle, or buy a new tire that its all possible because a roughneck is doing his job.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Marriage:You Do or You Don't

What is Marriage?
a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony.
I believe too many people are rushing into marriage, and way too many people do not take it seriously. It is not a joke, or an excuse to have a party, its not like dating, where you can just decide next week you like someone else and dump the guy/girl.
Marriage is a life long commitment, a spiritual, emotional, physical, legal commitment to stand beside this person, to honor them for the rest of their life.
Even though I'd live with Justin for pretty much the beginning of our relationship, which was 3 years in June.. I still did not take marriage as a joke, it was a very big step for me. I had known he was "THE ONE" since the start, but was I ready to be married at 19,20, or 21? No. I needed to get to know who he really was, to know howe together we could handle life challenges. A wife is a different role than a girlfriend.
I'm tired of seeing girls be "engaged" 15 times to 15 different guys, is there a ring on your hand? are REALLY planning to spend the rest of your life with this guy, you've known a whole month? you don't know the person well enough to make that kinda big decision, being engaged is a promise to marry, and I hate seeing girls turn it into a "thing to do" after "being engaged" so many times, it doesn't seem as special anymore.
I'm also REALLY tired of all these on and off relationships that people think being married will make it work.
if you can't even stay together for more than a few weeks without breaking up, or fighting and one running to her moms, or kicking the other out what in the hell makes you think being married will magically make all your problems go away?
If you can't handle a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship now, you probably won't be able to handle marriage 5 years from now.
Because when you finally get tired of all the fighting and the crying and the stupid drama, guess what? you can't just "break up" and go find someone new, you have to get a divorce, go through the courts, divide things up, if you have kids, have a custody agreement.. and once you're divorced its over, you can't just decide a few days later "oh maybe I really do love them, lets be married again" nope sorry.!
I can tell you, these on and off again, constantly breaking up relationships,they never work out in the long run.. I've been there, done that.. and in the end you just keep getting back together out of comfort, and routine, because its easier to just get back together than to move on and admit its really over.. but by then you're so miserable .

Marriage is not a joke, its a big, lifetime commitment.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Rantings

I'm so tired of seeing on Facebook people complaining about how broke they are, I'm NOT talking about people who are just having a hard time in life, or have had unexpected things come up, like medical bills or a car accident, I KNOW things happen and you can never plan for those things, I'm talking about all these people who a month ago were bragging about their new 51 in tv they just got, not because their other tv was broke, but because they just wanted a bigger one and are now crying about how "broke" they are ... Now Justin and I got a new Tv.. but we could AFFORD TO, and we knew it wouldn't put a strain on us, we BUDGET every month..
I see people posting pics of their new flashy car, but are living in a run down house.. how about you STOP spending money on stupid things, and SAVE.
I desperately NEEDED, not wanted, NEEDED a car, but instead of us running out and buying when we didn't have the extra money, and couldn't afford a second monthly payment at the time, we waited until the other car was paid off, we had saved up the money for a down payment and knew what we could afford to pay each month, and got a very nice car..was it worth the wait? Hell Yes.

And I'm really tired of people saying " you're just a housewife, and you just get to spend your husbands money"
Yes, I am a housewife, I'm also a Roughneck wife, whats your super power?
My husband is gone two weeks a month, thats 6 months a year.. he's gone away from me and our daughter half the time, he works 12 hr days no matter the weather, in snow, in rain, in sleet, in blistering 115 heat .. he works his ASS OFF.. for what? so that we can have a nice life, so that our bills get paid, that we have a car to drive, so we can enjoy life.
Being a roughneck wife is not an easy life by any means, I'm alone half the time, I miss my husband, I worry about him, He's gonna miss holidays and birthdays and special moments in Audreys life, but its our sacrifice.
And I don't take him for granted, I don't go on shopping sprees, I buy off brand groceries, a lot of Audreys clothes are second hand, I try to save money where I can.
I always knew growing up my parents financial situation, I never asked for the 100$ jeans or a cell phone when I was 11, my parents tried to give me everything I wanted, but I never begged for expensive things, because I was always aware of bills, and a house payment. I remember the year the Razor scooter was the "IT" thing for christmas, we walked past one in the store and I told my parents I thought it was stupid ( I actually was DYING for one, but I thought we couldn't afford it) and they said " oh so we can take it back?"
I guess the point of my ramblings is simple: Don't live beyond your means. If you can't afford it, don't buy it.. and if you do, don't bitch about how broke you are.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Oh Christmas

Have YOU started shopping for Christmas? I have!
I always thought I'd be a parent who didn't spoil their child, and didn't buy them everything... yeah right I'm a mother:)
Audreys first Christmas is going to be great and I'm so excited!
I've already started shopping, buying a toy here and there, But today I got 100$ that was a late wedding/birthday gift and I went and got some bigger things for Audrey, I got her the Violet the Puppy, some shape blocks, a big Golden Books book, it has stories that I had as a child in it which I thought was neat. Got her some bows for her stocking(hey they were a 1$ you can NOT pass up bows for a buck!)a toy phone and some other things as well, her "BIG" gift is going to be an activity table, I don't wanna get too many big things since her birthday is just 2 months after Christmas.. but I want her to have a lot to open , since we'll be doing Christmas the 19th before Justin leaves(he has to work on christmas booo!) and I'll drive back to OK and do Christmas there with my family, my grandpa is 90 and I think it would mean a lot if he was there for her first Christmas:)
She'll be getting a porcelain doll, a snowglobe, and a christmas bear as well but probably from my mom... I got those every year growing up and I wanna continue the tradition.
But I'm starting now so that we won't be totally broke in December, and I plan on hitting up after Christmas sales for her Birthday presents:)
She may not remember it, but I plan on taking LOTS of pictures and I want it to be the first of many amazing holidays with my beautiful Daughter<3

7 months

a couple of Audreys 7 month photos



Sunday, September 25, 2011

New Wife, New Life

I have been feeling like a frumpy old housewife the last few months, none of my clothes fit right, my hair always up in a messy bun, so for my birthday(the 20th) I bought 4 new outfits and a new pair of shoes, already had my nails and eyebrows done for the wedding , and I went and cut my hair and got carmel highlights! my hair was almost to the middle of my back, I got it trimmed right after Audrey but it hadn't been "CUT" in 2 years, and it'd been.. longer than that since I'd had any color done. I love it though! Its to my chin and shorter and stacked in the back, I feel like a new person.!
Not much has changed with us being married, except I can call him my husband and my name has changed, although Justin seems to like wearing his ring even though its too big, which I love because he said he'd never wear it outside of the ceremony.
I just love the idea that we're married and committed for life:)
I never realized how bad my anxiety and insecurities about him leaving me were until now, I used to have nightmares about it, now I just feel a calm in my heart.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Mr & Mrs.

We are married!!!
I was stressing up until I was walking down the stairs, we ran behind and didn't even start setting up until 4 and the clouds starting getting dark and the arch wasn't done, but it all got put together and everything looked better than I even imagined,thanks in big part to my Brother and sister in law and two bridesmaids who decorated the arch amazing! it looked better than I could have dreamed.
I didn't get started with my hair and makeup til 6 since we were running late with everything so the wedding got started about 30 minutes late, and even though right as the ceremony started it sprinkled a bit it NEVER rained!!!!
I got choked up during the first part of my vows and I had to calm myself or I would have bawled and not been able to finish them, Justin totally winged it and made everyone laugh with his " Samantha all that and more, thank you I love you"
I also put his ring on the wrong hand(oops!) lol
but it was perfect, and I had a blast and I think everyone else did too, our first dance was to "God Bless the Broken Road" and even though neither of us know how to dance it was Perfect<3 I danced with my grandpa to "I loved her first" and he danced a lot better than I did !
The reception looked exactly liked I envisioned with flickering lights in the mason jars and hanging lanterns from the tree.
The cake was amazing, (what little I got to taste of it) although we did cut it with the serving thing instead of the actual knife haha!
I am so happy that everything went the way it was suppose to and that I am finally Justin's wife!
Audrey did awesome too, she only cried for a second at the end of the ceremony, she was totally wore out by the end of the night and passed out as soon as we got home.
I can't believe I am a married woman!

My Vows
Justin,
You were the last thing I expected, your love took me by complete surprise. Saying I love you doesn't do justice to what I feel, You are my light in darkness,
my fairytale come true, I never knew a man could be so good, could make me feel so happy. I was a lost 19 yr old girl
when we met, and you have made me into the woman I am today.
You are my best friend, the love of my life, I count my blessings everyday that you came into my life, that against everything we've come up against we've just grown stronger and more in love.I love your stupid jokes, the way you
wake up singing random songs completely out of tune, I love how incredibly smart you are, and how you are the kindest person I've ever met, I still get butterflies everytime you walk through the door,and no matter how far you go, or how long your gone, I promise to always stand beside you, to
always believe in you, and I promise to spend the rest of my life loving you with everything I have, and to make you just as happy as you make me. I will love you to the moon and back. forever and ever, I'm yours.

and a link to two albums on Facebook with pictures, one is from my photographer and the other is just shots from guests
Wedding

Wedding 2

I am married to the love of my life and I have never been happier!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Never thought I'd be a bridezilla

I have often made fun of those crazy brides on the show Bridezilla, saying "Oh I would NEVER act like that" but now being 3 days til the wedding and being completely stressed out I can see how some of them act the way they do! It's like everyone around me got stupid for some reason!I'm really a laid back person, but I'm pretty much to my freak out point, I do believe I have called my mom and my best friend at least 3 times a day the past couple days threatening to strangle people.I blame myself though, I should have stuck with my original plan of NO bridesmaids, since this is where most of my stress is coming from.
I also should have not changed my entire wedding layout for extra people since now the wedding list has shrunk to its original size.
Lets just say I am glad I'm only doing this once, and god forbid something ever happen to Justin and I get re married I am totally going to Vegas!
On a happier note Justin comes home today, its been a lonely 2 weeks without him, also my mom will be here thursday, I am excited for her to see Audrey and how much she has grown.
Okay I must go , Audrey is crawlin away!!(did I mention she really crawls now and won't sit still for more than a stinkin second!.. time for new toys?!)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

one week

One week til the wedding!!!!!!!
I'm so ready to be married, I'm nervous though, not sure why.
Also, my bridesmaid dresses got sent BACK to England.. yeah so I'm a bit stressed about trying to find two dresses the day before the wedding when my bridesmaids get here. UGH!
I'm also so ready for Justin to be home tuesday, we'll have tuesday and wednesday together before the craziness begins !!
I'm really hoping Audrey gets comfortable enough with my mom to let her hold her during the wedding.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Life is passing by

Audrey turned 6 months old on the 28th, she's sitting up all on her own now, and she's even started REALLY crawlin, she was army crawlin for a while but now she can get up on her knees and just go! two weeks from tomorrow is the wedding! I'm so ready to be married!
I had my bachelorette party last weekend, oh lord was I ever sick the next day! safe to say my party days are very much a thing of the past! thankfully Justin took care of me and Audrey all day.. what a wonderful man:) he also bought me a new wedding ring set!!
its so beautiful!!
well Audrey is trying to type so I gotta cut this short, i'll update with her 6 month pics later

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Ohh Progress

Audrey has her own room! thanks to my friend Nicole helping me, we got the kids room completely cleaned out and everything stored and got all of Audreys things in there, even her crib which we thought we'd have to take apart to get out the door. We also cleaned out my closet, which was totally filled with random crap, and re-arranged my bedroom. I got some things for the walls, and also a new fireplace decor.
I'm on a mission to make this place look more like a home !
I got an arch for the wedding, and got the tables and chairs ordered.
All thats left is to do my hair trial run, have my bachelorette party and get the food, Oh and I still have to finish the favors.
I'm so excited!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

hello two weeks

Justin headed off for another two weeks at work tonight, I did get an extra 8 hrs with him though since he didn't have to be there til in the morning instead of being there at 5:30 tonight.
My stress level and anxiety has dropped completely now that its just Audrey, clearly I am not made to be a mother of multiple children.
While he's away I'm gonna work on getting the Apt back in order, getting rid of a bunch of crap, and I'm also cleaning out the kids room and turning it into Audreys room, we'll be moving into a bigger place by the time we get them again next spring, and its time Audrey gets her own room, I need space to put her things, and we need space in our room as well.
6 weeks til the wedding!! I've always been a planner, I need something to research ideas for and plan things and with the wedding almost done I was worried I would get bored with nothing to research or plan, but then I realized I can start on Audreys 1st birthday! and Justin also wants to buy a house next year, so I can start working on that as well..

Audrey is such a curious baby, she see's something on the floor and rolls over til she gets to it and then scoots herself around til she can grab it, she also tries to lean over and grab my phone or the remote when I'm holding her, she got up on her knees while on her tummy tonight, only for a second but maybe crawling is on its way! I'm gonna have my hands full with her!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Happy 5 months

Audrey is 5 months old today!
I think I've decided to wait until she's 6 months to start solids, although I'm gonna tryto give her oatmeal next week, rice made her really constipated so we'll see how this goes.
I really think I wanna make her food, it will save us some money, I just need to buy a blender.
The stepkids are gone, back to their moms, Justin flew them home today and life is quiet and back to normal, so far.
we got a new car! 2007 white camry, had it 3 hours and the manager of Davids Bridal back into us as I was putting my wedding dress in the trunk.
Justin was pretty sick about it, but it can be fixed, the insurance people are coming tomorrow to look at the damage.
Having a 465$ car payment is gonna hurt a little, but we needed another car, and Justin deserved to get something nice, and I'm glad to have the explorer, I won't be stuck in the apartment all day everyday while he's at work for two weeks!

Monday, July 25, 2011

And the beat goes on..

So Audrey got her shots last week, she did pretty good only cried for a few seconds, she now weighs 15 lbs 8 oz and is 24 1/2 inches long! my sweet baby is growing!!
she's starting to be able to sit up by herself for a few seconds too.
she has such a goofy personality, she loves to laugh and play and she is so curious, she rolls herself everywhere, she's a little rolly polly!

The wedding planning continues, Got the minister, got the cake ordered, a rig cake! got someone to do my hair and makeup for only 50$! she's my photographers daughter.
I got the plates,heavy plastic red ones, yellow and red napkins, forks(metal ones they were 4 for a dollar!) got the cups, I still need to get wine glasses though, got the stuff to make the favors, I'm putting sunflower seeds in little favor boxes, got one favor done, 49 to go!
I got the string and notecards and pens for the "guestbook" thing we're doing as well as the picture line.. instead of a video we're just putting pictures of us growing up on a clothesline type thing and people can see them.
I got my shoes! Red ones! I gave up on finding white ones.
so all I have left is renting the tables and chairs, and getting the food.
Oh and getting the tablecloths.. I found a place online that I can get them for like 5$. which is cheaper than renting them.
52 days until the Big Day!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Find the ONE

I really didn't think finding someone to marry us would be a big deal, or would be as hard to find as it is.
My mom is paying for the entire wedding except for Justins tux and the alcohol, so Im trying to keep everything at the lowest cost possible, the only thing I went over budget on was my dress.
I think I may have finally found an Officiant, I hope for 125$, the cheapest I'd been able to find was 300.
I also think I found something I do want in the ceramony, we are doing our own vows but I found this and think its beautiful and very much US, since we're always holding hands.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work along side yours as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes your way.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will give you support and encouragement to chase down your dreams.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
These are the hands that will lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into eyes that are filled with overwhelming love for you.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Friday, July 8, 2011

So I got my centerpieces put together, I still need to get 4 more Wide mouth jars for the floating candles, but otherwise Im done! all I'll have to do the day of is fill the floating candle jars with water, and switch the LED candles on for the other ones.
Now I need figure out a way to use the lids, I'm thinking maybe as coasters? I'm not sure yet.



this is my Garter:)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

For some reason internet explorer hasn't been letting me publish my posts, so I had to get Google Chrome.
anyway, Justin got me the Song of Ice and Fire book series for our Anniversary, I love it.

I pretty much cleaned Hobby Lobby out of Mason Jars today! I bought two different sizes, and I'm putting 3 on each table.
I got some floating rose candles, I got LED tea candles to put in the jars as well, and red stones that I'll use either for picture jar or maybe the rose candle.
I also bought my bouqet, fake , but I'm only using it for pictures since I'll both arms linked going down the aisle. only 20$ and I'd spend 60 on a real one that would last 1 day
I got our cake cutter too.
I also got a basket to hold note cards and the clothes pins that I'm using instead of a guest book.

theres more people coming than I planned on, so we may have to have people park at a seperat location and have them driven to the house where the wedding is.

I still have to order the cake,rent the tables and chairs, shoes, find someone to do hair and makeup for me , find a judge to preform the ceramony, pay the photographer, buy plates and glasses, and get the food, oh and get a dress to wear when we leave.
Ive got to go to his aunts house and figure out where outside we can do the ceramony, doing it inside by the fireplace is out since we don't have room for all the people now. I've also gotta figure out lighting , for when its dark.


I told Justin if he wants alcohol there he's gotta pay for it.
I can't believe its almost here!

I got my Garter, its blue and has a 2011 charm on it. only 8$ at Davids Bridal.

Also I think everyone should check out this blog of a friend of mine, She's a member of my Playgroup online and her story is amazing, her daughter just had heart surgery, she's an amazing mom.

http://lifeasweknowit-jenniferm.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

time is flying

one year ago today was the day I found out I was pregnant, what a crazy moment. I was totally unprepared to be a mother, my life change completely with two pink lines.
Audrey is also 4 months old today, growing much too fast for me!
I had to go get her all new clothes because she's now in 3-6 month and I only had a couple outfits. Resale stores are the way to go, cheap cheap stuff. I also got her a jumperoo, same one at wal-mart was 90$, got it at a resale store for 40$
she makes so many noises now, she doesn't cry when she wakes up, she starts talkin and makin noises.
I swear sometimes it sounds like she says "yeah" and when she cries really hard it sounds like she says momma.. but I'm probably just hearing things lol
she really is such a happy baby.

Justin and I had our 3 year anniversary on the 21st, what a crazy three years its been, Justin really changed my life, and I like to think I changed his.
I don't think either of us expected to find our soulmate when we met up at 4 am on a monday night, and I really don't think the drunk girl(me) falling out of the truck would someday be his wife. haha
but we just fit together, even when we disagree or he drives me insane we get over it quick and are huggin and laughin before I can remember what it was I was so mad about.
I can't imagine life without him in it, I was a wild lost little girl when I met him, 19 years old and had no direction.
He's always believed in me, he's made me into a housewife(even if I'm not a good one)and he's given me a reason to have a better life.
Justin is my best friend, no doubt, I tell him everything, I never get tired of spending time with him, or get tired of how crazy goofy he is.
We laugh together, and I can be a total dork around him and make him laugh, something I was never able to do with other guys I dated.
I love how he takes care of me and his kids, how he wants a better life, and doesn't settled.
I love how SMART he is, like right now he's studying Python, just for fun!
and of course I love that he gave me the most amazing gift of all, Audrey, my life wouldn't be complete without this amazing, beautiful baby girl.



Friday, June 17, 2011

3 months

3 months until the Wedding!
I also got the e-mail that my wedding dress is in, so I need to get that and set up a alterations appt.
I've still got to go get my jewelry and shoes, and guarder and gurdle .
I got my ceramony decor in yesterday, Im not happy with the sunflowers, they're tiny and look like weeds, so I will get some different ones from the actual store instead of online..

We are heading to the lake for a family reunion, on Justins side, so we'll be gone all weekend... kinda dreading it, but whatever.
I'm ready for Tuesday!! Justin will be home & its our 3 yr anniversary:)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Swimming

Audrey went swimming for the first time today!
well really she just sat in the water lol
She liked it for about 6 or 7 minutes til her diaper was too wet.
Ethan and Kayley swam for 4 hrs, so they are wore out!








Thursday, June 9, 2011

Retail therapy

Being stuck inside the house all day with three kids can make a sane woman go a little nutty, so to keep my sanity I've been shopping, mostly just browsing.. looking for jewelry to wear for the wedding, not having any luck with that, I may have to see my dress again.. I really want pearls and diamonds together.
So instead I used what was left of the wal-mart gift card and got myself a new book, then got Audrey two new outfits, thanks to my mom. super cheap at Macys, couldn't pass it up.
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=531907&CategoryID=5991
I got the "pretty like Mommy" one

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=521310&CategoryID=5991
this comes with two onsies , a hat AND a tutu.. very good deal!

and then I bought myself some new makeup. I needed eyeliner and mascara.. I really needed some nail polish, but every color was out of stock.
I got a ton of stuff for SUPER cheap.. check out eyeslipsface.com
they've got shipping for a 1.98 with the code sum198

PLUS I ordered all the decor for the wedding ceramony a couple days ago.. my Apartment office is gonna be full of packages for me in the next week or two! haha

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

creation

It was a year ago yesterday that Audrey was created:)
I know the exact day because Justin had gone to work and the kids were at their moms(she lived in texas for a month or two) and he'd had 24 hrs off and came home. we had no furniture yet either, another reason I remember. I told him afterwards that he was lucky I'd ovulated the day before or we'd be having a baby... haha a few weeks later we found we were having miss Audrey!!
she's so amazing, I just love to look at her and see her beautiful little face, I still am in complete AWE that I created her, that she is a part of ME.
I never knew how much I could possibly love another person, I thought I loved Justin with all I had, but Audrey is so much more, my love is above and beyond for her.

she is doing very good about rolling from her belly to her back with no help at all and now she's starting to try to go from back to belly. she's started grabbing the toys on her playmat which is the reason I bought it, good investment!
now we need to get her a walker thing she she can sit up and play.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Dear Summer

Well Audrey is 3 months old now, she met her brother and sister.. they adore her, but they aren't sure why she doesn't "eat" and they don't understand that her milk is her food lol.
We took them to the park today, we went around 1, horrible time to go since it was so hott , I kept Audrey in the shade because she's so pale, but we finally got to use the stroller! Ethan and Kayley had a fun though..
I finally bought her a playmat, hopefully she'll start reaching up and grabbing things, she grabs her rags when I wave them right by her hands but she doesn't reach out for things yet. also she is trying so hard to roll over from her belly to back without the boppy help.
I got her some new bows today they were a 1$ at wal-mart so I couldn't pass up getting one in every color! thats a steal!!!shh don't tell daddy! haha

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Audrey got her 2 month shots today, even though she'll be 3 months in a few days..?
she did so good! she only cried for about 5 minutes then she was fine, I cried of course.
Justin leaves tomorrow to get Ethan and Kayley, I'm excited for Audrey to meet them but I'm also sad that its no longer just gonna be and her, I love being able to devote all my time and attention to her and now I won't be able to, I'm kinda feeling guilty on both ends.
I'm also not looking forward to no alone time with Justin, it was hard last summer with them to get time for just us and now we have Audrey in our room.. and I think time for just me and him is vital to making our relationship work.
I guess we'll see how it goes.
Think Positive.

Monday, May 23, 2011

12 weeks

Today Audrey is 12 weeks old..not 3 months yet! 5 more days til that happens, I'm keeping her little as long as I can!
we did a mini shoot at 1 am this morning since she was wide awake !
I used to hate when she'd put her fingers in her mouth when I'd try to take her picture, but now Its just the cutest thing ever.






Sunday, May 22, 2011

The best smell in the world is the man that you love

"It has stayed with me through most of my own relationships. When I fell in love and got married, I lived in constant fear of being left. Whatever you love most, you fear you might lose, you know it can change. Why do you look from left to right when you cross the street? Because you don't want to get run over. But, you still cross the street."

He's notjust the friend or the lover, but he's the missing piece to my puzzle.

I think I have a new idea for the wedding, I know we're putting pictures in the Mason jars of Justin and I.. but I really like this idea as well.. and I'm looking for unique cute pictures to hang up, not so much of people, but just cute love stuff.




I also think instead of a traditional guest book, having everyone write some marraige advice or congrats on a piece of paper and hang it up is cute too



and of course Im using Mason jars filled with Pictures of us, and some with coffee beans and some with candles as the centerpieces.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Today is my stepkids Birthday.
Ethan and Kayley are now 6 and 4.. yes they were born on the same day.
this is the first year since I've been with Justin that the kids haven't been with us for their birthday.
I remember meeting Kayley and Ethan, Kayley was 1 and Ethan 3.. I used to get up in the morning with Kayley and feed her, and let Justin sleep in. I'd open my eyes and she would be standing in her play pin just smiling at me, waiting for me to wake up.

I wanna slow life down, Audrey is already almost 3 months old!

I'm reading a book by Lee Child called Worth Dying For .
I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I was desperate for something to read and they didn't have anymore Karin Slaughter books, which is what I've been reading.

I'm not sure this post has a purpose other than to say Happy Birthday to the kids.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

one week down one to go

I know that I was so excited for Justin to be on the 14 on 14 off schedule..
but now that I'm going through it, I hate it.
I guess because we did it before we just expected to love it again.
but before I was living in our hometown, had school and all my friends and family to keep me busy, I could go do things and the time passed rather quickly.
but now I'm 5 hrs away from friends and I'm busy taking care of Audrey...
and I think having Audrey is a big reason I miss him so much, I want him to be here for her, to see all her smiles and hear her coos .
he'd been one the 7 on 7 off schedule for over a year and I got used to it.
I mean I missed him, but I knew in a few days I'd see him. now I still have another week to get through until he's home.

I guess its the sacrifice we make for having a good life, for being able to stay at home with Audrey.
I've been trying to keep myself busy doing housework, re organizing the living room, going through pictures and papers.. doing random bits of laundry.
thank god for my message boards where I can talk to other adults, or I'd probably be talking baby gibberish when Justin gets home.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I keep having dreams that I've gone back to work.. its so weird, I also had a dream I was in a big training class for the navy with a bunch of people from my highschool. I thought the weird dreams stopped after pregnancy?
I've really got to do something productive the net few days.
I'm gonna clean up the bedroom, dust, go through some of Audreys clothes.. I've got to get her some more 3-6 month outfits she's about to be too big for the 0-3 months. I really need to get her a bow organizer because somehow I've already lost one of her bows, the red one I bought for her 4th of july outfit.
I also need to get a power cord for our printer so I can pring off some activities for Ethan and Kayley, I'm gonna try and set a schedule for them too. up at 8 or 9 whenever Audrey gets up the second time around and in bed by 9 when Audrey goes to bed.. I've told Justin that he HAS to help me on this, and he can not let them stay up all night and sleep all day, and that they CAN NOT sleep in our bed because that can't happen when he's at work and its just me, I have to sleep when Audrey does so I can't be up all night with them and then stay up when Audrey gets up.. I'll go insane with sleep deprivation.
I'm very nervous about them coming, I'm so excited to see them and I know so is Justin and I can't wait for them to meet Audrey

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My all time favorite band has FINALLY come out with a new album.
Cold's Superfiction is due out in July.
they released their first single and I love it!
Wicked World.
I absolutely love love love this band, I don't think they've ever made a song I didn't like.
my favorite is Cure My Tragedy, I've always been able to relate to their music, and they don't have to scream or cuss to make it good.

<3 check em out

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Carter

Tomorrow is one of my best friends sons 1st birthday Carter Brooks.
I am so lucky to have a friend like Melissa, we've been friends since we were in the 1st grade, I've only seen her cry once in all the years I've known her.
when she told me she was pregnant, on my 21st birthday, I was so shocked, she was the absolute LAST person I thought would get pregnant . I have always looked at her as a sister, someone I needed to look out for, I viewed her as sheltered, pure and innocent, I know thats weird to call someone pure, but thats how I always saw her, like she was the better person, she never drank or partied hard, like I did.. she did good in school, got a scholarship, had a curfew, had a job at a law office..
anyway so 9 months passed and she went into labor, sadly I had moved to texas and couldn't be there.. Carter was born disabled, at that point I don't think I would've had the strength Melissa did, a perfect healthy normal pregnancy and BAM .. something totally unexpected happens.
Carter is probably the most precious little boy I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I know that Melissa is the most perfect mom for him.
He was the first and ONLY baby , my daughter Audrey has ever smiled at.
I am more proud of Melissa than I have ever been of anyone, for her strength, her love, her patience.
I love it when she calls and Carter talks to me on the phone, it brightens my day.

Happy Birthday Carter B
Love you sooo much!!
-Aunt Mantha

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day!
Audreys gift to me was sleeping for 7 hrs, so that was nice!
I'm so blessed to be a mother, and to be Audreys mother.
she is the most beautiful little girl in the whole world, and so joyful, always smiling and playin.
You really don't know how much you can really love until you have a child.
she's already growing too fast for me!
She's the center of my world, my reason for exsisting.
I love that little girl more than life itself.

Friday, May 6, 2011

I just wrote a long post and it told me to hit the back button and now its all gone... effff
in summary, we set the wedding date September 17, 2011

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

It is 2 am.
and I have nothing to complain about, always in my life I've had some obstacle to overcome,something looming over my happiness... not now, for the first time I am stress free, happy, content with where I am in life, Sure I'd like to be getting a bigger place, and I'd like to have my own car but I get to be a stay at home mom and spend every moment with Audrey and I'm complete provided for. Am I spoiled? maybe but I'm not like everyone probably thinks I am.
I'm sure other Roughneck wives have complete access to their husbands money, they go on shopping sprees, they buy themselves things , everyone sees a stay at home mom, especially one that has a husband in the oil field as gold diggers, spoiled or lazy.
thats NOT me. while yes I have access to Justins money, I only use it for food or diapers, things for Audrey and I've never used it without telling him first and after telling him exactly how much I've spent, he doesn't make me do this, but its his money, money he makes sacrificing by being away from his family, he busts his ass on there on the rig, 12 hr days doing hard labor in wind , rain, burning heat and freezing snow.
I never take for granted what I have.
Do I miss having my own money? yes
Do I miss being able to go buy myself new clothes and things? yes
would I trade it for what I have now? no way
being able to be home with Audrey is completely and totally worth it all.
I love cooking my husband dinners and taking care of my daughter.
this is a 180 of where I pictured myself a 3 years ago, even a year ago, but life takes you where you're suppose to be.
and being with Justin and Audrey is the best place in the world for me.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Ccchhh changes

well Justin will be starting on a new rig, he goes to a 4 day training class this week and then probably will head out to his new rig right after, its with a new comapny called Rowan, and its a great company to work for, they have offshore rigs which is eventually what he wants to do.
I'm not looking forward to him being gone for three weeks, but I will like him being back on a two week on, two off schedule again, I like having him home longer.

I got my wedding dress! I almost bought a different one, a short one, then I saw this one in the magazine and had to try it on, my consultant was probably annoyed but oh well it was a bigger commission for him! haha. Its nothing like I pictured myself in at all, but I put it on and KNEW, it was my dress, I felt like a bride, I could see myself walking towards Justin.
We're having the wedding at Justins aunts house , we'll do the ceramony in front of the fireplace using her furniture and random chairs for seating and then have the reception outside, she has a big yard that has a fountain and rose bushes.
our wedding cake is gonna be a Rig cake, something a little unique.
I wanted to do a Brooch bouqet but its just too expensive , and I don't have the time to try and find broochs in order to make my own.
I'm gonna decorate the fireplace with big candles and letters spelling LOVE
for the reception I'm using mason jars for centerpieces.
okay well gotta get Audrey back to bed, and wake Justin up! I have to finish his rig laundry before he leaves!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter!

Audreys first Easter! I know she won't remember but I want every holiday to be the best for her:)
she got a basket full of goodies, and now she's in her Easter Dress ready to go to Easter dinner at her grandmas